508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
