we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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