I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the day after is always just damage control
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
