just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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