Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
