she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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