i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
