They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
