forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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