Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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