So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
