we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
