I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
