When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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