I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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