i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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