I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
