Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
