I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
