i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
