yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
