dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
