I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
