what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize