I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
