Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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