it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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