OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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