Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
