Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
