It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
