YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize