is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
