WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
