well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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