you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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