Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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(303): View more from Colorado

Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(586): View more from Michigan

He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.

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(513): View more from Ohio

She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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(815): View more from Illinois

I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.

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(616): View more from Michigan

i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!

(1-616): View more from Michigan

BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Go shave, and then go fuck the man

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU

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