Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
