Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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