girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
