margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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