This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
