I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It all started with a game of naked twister.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
