So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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