I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He? As in you personified your dick?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
