Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
