I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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