and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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