I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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