I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
