batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
