did you get engaged???
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The chlamydia really affected his face.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
