At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
