My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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