did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
