First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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