is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
