ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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