After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
