I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Green mimosas i think yes
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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