She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
