I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
