I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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