Do you still have your period?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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