She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize